Things Only Horseback Riders Know

* Believe in the 11th Commandment: Inside leg to outside rein.
* Know that all topical medications come in either indelible blue or neon yellow.
* Think nothing of eating a sandwich after mucking out stables.
* Know why a thermometer has a yard of yarn attached to one end of it.
* Are banned from Laundromats.
* Fail to associate whips, chains and leather with sexual deviancy.
* Can magically lower their voices five octaves to bellow at a pawing horse.
* Have a language all their own ("If he pops his shoulder, I have to close that hand and keep pushing with my seat in case he sucks back".)
* Will end relationships over their hobby.
* Cluck to their cars to help them up hills.
* Insure their horses for more than their cars.
* Will give you 20 names and reasons for that bump on your horse.
* Know more about their horse's nutrition than their own.
* Have neatsfoot oil stains on the carpet right next to the TV.
* Have a vocabulary that can make a sailor blush.
* Have less wardrobe than their horse.
* Engage in a hobby that is more work than their day job.
* Know that mucking stalls is better then Zoloft any day!
* Can smell moldy hay a mile away, but can't tell where the odor in the refrigerator is coming from.